Okay so I have been so bad with with blog! It's in its 5th year now and I have just been losing the love for it, do any other bloggers go through that? I think about doing a blog post every day but never get around to it, or I can't think of anything good to blog about and I stress myself out about it!
Today I just using my blog as a way of getting things of my chest and out of my head!
Sunday was one of the worst days of my life, my Grandma died.
She hasn't been well for a while but she has always been such a strong women getting back up and getting on with it.
As a young child myself, my brother and my Dad used to drive up to see her and my grandad for Christmas and also in the summer, my childhood was with her and I feel like that's over.
It's hard to explain but I feel like whenever I saw her or thought about her and my grandad I'd go back to that little giggly girl sitting on their living room floor with either a glass of milk or Yellow Lemonade and eating party rings with James Bond on the TV and that makes me so happy.
But now I think about that and feel so sad and lost. That part of my life has completely gone now, their gone, their bungalow will be sold, its over.
Sorry I know this is a pretty depressing post, but I find writing everything down really helps me come to terms with things and get things of my chest.
I think if you have lost someone you will understand what I mean.
I didn't see her much at all the last new years and so it doesn't quite feel real yet, I have moments when I'm fine and then I have moments when it all becomes reality and I break down.
I just want you all to promise me that you will tell your family you love them whenever you can, call them just for a chat, give them hug just because you can.
I wish I could go back in time and just spend one more day with my grandma and grandad watching James bond eating my party rings.
lots of love
xxx
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