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Sunday, 11 February 2018

Is Social Media the new Counsellor?

Has anyone else noticed how they are so much more open online? About how they are feeling, what is happening in their lives and where they are with their mental health? It's almost as if social media has become a counsellor for so many people, myself included.
Why is it that we are all so much happier to open up behind a computer screen rather than turning to our friends and family for a good heart to heart chat, or asking a professional for help? We would much rather post an arty picture that shows a perfect life with a caption saying how hard we are finding reality. I know I am very guilty of this on a daily basis.

But should this been seen as a negative thing?
As I've said before I'm an extremely private person and find it very hard to completely open myself up to someone including family which should be my first turn. If I'm completely honest there are very few people who truly see the real me because I'm so scared of being judged for my dorky side.  However for me Twitter and Instagram are both places I can an go to escape, be who I really am behind a profile picture.
I guess thats how I want to feel about my blog too. For it to be a place I can come and type my deepest thoughts and be my true self without getting peoples opinions on my situation, just someone to listen and read and even reach out if they have been through anything similar or felt the same way as me. It's a great comfort to have people you've never spoken to before and will probably never speak to or meet again say ME TO.
We all feel alone at some point in our lives and I truely think that social media, like Twitter and Instagram are opening peoples eyes to that fact that we really aren't alone and we never have been.


Monday, 5 February 2018

The unplanned, planned ramble

At this time yesterday I was sat in the exact same spot with my laptop on my knee ready to type out a blog post, feeling motivated. Then just as I have done many times recently I feel into such a funk and low mood that words just didn't come to me.

I know I'm not the best writer and I find it extremely hard to put what I'm thinking into words, which is the main reason I switched from blogging to youtube, but having very low self esteem has caused me to not want to pick up the camera and film anything so I have turned back to my blog so I have somewhere to put down how I'm feeling and what I'm thinking, knowing that not many people will read, but it means I get it off my chest.

I'm a very private person and become very uncomfortable when asked about how I am or about a situation in my life and I'm the one that will just say 'I'm fine' When really I'm broken inside and so confused about life in general. I will do everything I can to change a subject away from myself. If I don't bring up a subject about myself to you its very unlikely I will open up about it when asked.

I have found recently that having a day of doing nothing after a day/days full of fun and friends causes me to just slip into a numb frame of mind, when all I want to do is curl up on my own and read a book or watch youtube and enter a different world so I don't have to deal with mine right that second.

Does anyone else have days like this?

The post I wanted to write yesterday was going to be about friendship and how we always talk about how long we've know someone and our best friends from childhood and school. We always assume these are the best friends in our lives and the ones we need by our side all the time, but this is something I have come to learn as not entirely true.

I entered this chapter of my life feeling very alone, after coming out of an 8 year relationship and  most of my friends where because of that relationship. I had to start again, at least thats how it felt to me. I didn't just say goodbye to a boyfriend I said goodbye to so many other important people because I just became so uncomfortable being around them as a solo person and not a duo.
However the people I have in my life now know me as 'Cara' and not 'Cara And...' if that makes sense. When you're in a long term relationship the two people almost become a single person. I moved to London having to learn who 'Cara' the singular person was and although I know I'm not 100% there at all I am slowly becoming myself again, becoming the dorky person I used to be.
With help from 3 amazing girls <3 My housemates.

This is a part of my life I thought I had skipped, moving out and living with friends was something I never thought I'd experience. But here I am trying my hardest to make the most of every second. Having highs and lows along the way. But I can't thank these girls enough.

We spent Saturday night drink cocktails, laughing and playing golf. If you've never been to JunkYard golf before and are ever in the Brick Lane area I highly recommend you visit. I had the best time forgetting about the outside world. I lost at the golf but had so much fun in the process.

 This is post is nothing like how I wanted it to be when I planned it in my head yesterday but sometimes its good to just sit and type what comes to your mind right? It doesn't flow and probably doesn't make much sense but I feel so much better for writing it!  

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